Kale's day is like most other kids. Kale get up around 7am sometimes later if I'm lucky! We change his diaper then set him on his play mat while I prepare a bottle for him. Kale still get all his nutrition from bottles. He eats about 180mls of PediaSure with about 2 to 3 tablespoons of his thickening gel. Then if its a Monday Wednesday or Friday he goes to daycare! He loves to listen to all the other kids and try watching them. On the non daycare days Kale and I do his physio stuff after his bottle a bit, stand/walk in his walker, then he takes a nap. He normally wakes about a half hour later and we do some stretches, playing, and singing. Basically Kale is like any other little guy. The only difference is that we are slowly building up his tolerance to not being held, sitting, standing, etc. Kale for the first year was an extremely irritable baby to say the least. Now, well since August he can be put down, sit in his seat for brief periods, and go in his walker. Kale also started to at least entertain the idea of solid food. Though he is still not eating large quantities of the baby food. He at least tries is, which is huge for him since he has a oral aversion. When Kale and I go on excursions to places we have to pack allot of stuff, the usual, plus his bottle, pediasure, thickener, other normal baby stuff. However like I said earlier he doesn't tolerate a whole lot for long periods so we make sure he is fed, diapered, and rested before we go places. For non-special needs kids tasks like sitting, standing, and walking may not be exhausting, for Kale sitting,standing,walking and eating solids require ALOT of concentration and work. So that's why he gets irritable when doing those tasks most times. Slowly we will get him stronger and better at these simple tasks. These are things we work on everyday. Kale has become such a good little guy now, his development has come along swimmingly and in may ways we are very lucky for his capabilities that he has.
Not only has Kale come a long way, I have as well. The unknown is a scary thing. Kale's outcome in life was so unknown and it scared me. So each day I try to step outside my comfort zone and do more with the little guy. We will get there together. I am so happy to be a mom of my little boy. Don't get me wrong I still have those feelings of "what if's" what if I had delivered a day later, what if I had delivered a hour later, what if I had delivered a hour sooner, what if I had not pushed so hard, what if I had taken it more easy, what if I hadn't gone in to be checked twice and just went once?!?! I still think about it sometimes, and still very much blame myself for Kale's outcome, however I know whats done is done. I cannot go back. I am very Luck to have a beautiful boy like Kale. I know these things. The guilt will always be there, the sadness will be there too when I pass parks and slides, when I see kids running jumping and riding bikes. Whenever I see a kid eating a sandwich with his hands or drawing with crayons, or when you hear a kid say mom, graduate high school, drive, ski, snowboard, swim independently, or even get married. I will always be reminded and saddened by these things. But I will always be thank full for his health and how much joy he has brought into our lives. He is such a Happy little guy. And that's all we want for our kids right?! To be happy......Kale has that, so that's all I can ask for!
